Thirty Days to Finals, I Swapped Study Buddies

One month before the college entrance exam, I ask my childhood friend, Nicholas Lund, about a test question I don't know how to answer. He doesn't even let me into the house. Instead, he casually sends me a link to a cheap online tutor. "I hired you an online tutor. It's only 20 bucks for the next 30 days." I am stunned for several beats, but a moment later, he sends me another message. "Marissa, do you know that everyone is saying you're like a piece of gum attached to my shoe? Stop bothering me with all these stupid questions. How are you going to bear the responsibility for disturbing my and Hails' revision time?" When I lift my head, I happen to spot the school belle, Hailey Lane, sitting at his desk. His jacket is draped over her shoulders as she munches on some apple slices he prepared for her. Instead of kicking up a fuss, I calmly tap on the link and add the tutor's contact number. "How do I solve this question?" The other party's response is immediate. "Do it systematically. First, take a look at the conditions. Don't rush it. I'll walk you through it step by step." Ten minutes later, I stare at the ridiculously detailed explanation filling my screen and fall into a thoughtful silence. How is it that a cheap online tutor was better at explaining how to solve a problem than our entire year's top student? Chapter 1 My tutor, who had told me to simply call him "Shane", sent me another message. "Is that still too confusing? Then let me show you how to solve it from several other angles." Staring at the three different solutions he provided me, I felt a lump lodge in my throat. In the past, every time I asked my childhood friend, Nicholas Lund, how to solve a problem, he would frown and say, "I've explained a similar concept to you before, haven't I? Stop making me repeat myself all the time. When he was in a particularly terrible mood, he would even toss my pencil aside and snap, "Think on it yourself." Eventually, I didn't even dare tell him when I didn't understand his explanations. Instead, I watched his mood closely. It was as though it was wrong of me to ask even one more question. Yet, this super cheap online tutor on the other side of this chat wasn't scornful of me for being slow. He broke down the problem and explained it to me, saying it was okay if I didn't understand the question. I just had to take my time. Through the open window of Nicholas' house, I could hear him gently explaining a question to the school belle, Hailey Lane. "It's fine. Here, let me explain it to you one more time." From where I stood outside the door, an epiphany suddenly dawned on me. As it turned out, it wasn't that Nicholas was impatient—he had simply been unwilling to be patient with me. Besides that, I realized that it wasn't that I was born slow or that I was hopelessly stupid. I had simply been forcing myself to be smaller and smaller over the years due to his impatience with me. My phone vibrated with a message from Shane, who had sent me a final study plan. He also told me to stop looking at others and focus on my studies instead. Recently, I had been living by Nicholas' moods. Even a slight furrow of his brow would be enough to make me lose an entire night's sleep. I had always thought it was because I had feelings for him, but now I understood it was likely an instinctive fear response he had trained into me over all these years. That night, while I worked on some test questions on an audio-only call with Shane, I got stuck on the third question and let my mind wander. A smooth male voice sounded in my ear. "Only spend one and a half minutes on each question. Skip it if you still can't figure it out by then." "How did you know?" "The sound of you flipping pages stopped." I ended up getting three out of ten questions wrong, which made me feel rather embarrassed. However, he comforted me calmly, "You did better than I expected. Your rhythm is just a little off." At 11:30 pm on the dot, he stopped our study session. I instinctively protested, "I can still continue. Nicholas says that the stupid bird needs to take off earlier to get the worm." Silence filled the other end of the line for two seconds. "You're not a stupid bird, nor does anyone have the right to make you feel that you're dumb." When I heard that, my eyes instantly reddened. The past 12 years with Nicholas had ingrained in me the habit of doubting myself. But it only took this stranger ten minutes of explaining a question to me for me to feel, for the first time in my life, that I wasn't actually stupid. "You're really good. You just need to take it slow." … The next day, I didn't leave my error log on Nicholas' desk liked I used to. During a break between classes, he finally couldn't take it anymore and approached me. "So, do you know how to answer that question from yesterday yet?" I didn't even bother lifting my head as I replied, "The tutor taught me." His face darkened. "Marissa Zinch, even if you're throwing a temper tantrum, you should know your limits. As if an online tutor could possibly understand you more than I do." If this had been in the past, I would've already panicked and hastily tried to explain that I wasn't throwing a tantrum, that I still trusted him most, and that I was simply worried about bothering him. However, this time, all I felt was a bone-deep weariness. "It's just explaining how to solve a question. Whether someone understands me or not doesn't matter." That surprised Nicholas, who froze in place. At that moment, Hailey sidled over with a juice box and uttered gently, "Marissa, how about I return Nicholas to you this afternoon?" Lowering my head, I tucked the practice papers away. "No need. I have my tutor now." As if on cue, my phone lit up with a text from Shane. "Take a 15-minute nap after lunch. We'll start working on Physics questions this afternoon." I let out a soft chuckle as I read the message. Nicholas' gaze zeroed in on my phone, and for the first time, a hint of inexplicable panic flashed in his eyes. Chapter 2 At noon, I didn't wait for Nicholas. Previously, every time the bell rang, I would immediately look toward him. Once he got to his feet and headed for the door, I would eagerly follow him. If he was still busy with homework, I would wait for him in the corridor. But I did none of that today. I did as Shane instructed and had my lunch before taking a short 15-minute nap at my desk. When I woke, I had a new message from Shane. "How are you feeling?" I answered, "I had a nap." His response was quick to come. "Very good." An inexplicable wave of relief swept through me as I stared at the two words. The first class after lunch break was Physics. As the teacher moved on to the final challenge problem, Nicholas was asked to head up to the board and solve the question. A few murmurs broke out among our classmate. "Nicholas is as amazing as ever." "Only he would be able to solve that question that quickly." I looked down at my scratch paper. Shane had walked me through a similar question model just last night. After class was over, Nicholas came over to me and swept his gaze over the scratch paper on my desk. "Do you really know how to solve this problem already?" I slipped my pencil case back into my bag. "Yeah, I do." He let out a scoff. "Marissa, don't think that you're so smart just because you happened to get one question correct. Those university students working part-time as online tutors would, at most, teach you formulaic solutions to those questions. "The moment an extra condition is added to the question, you'll be unable to answer it just the same. In the end, you'll still come to me with anything you don't understand, isn't it?" Hailey popped her head out from behind him. "Marissa, Nicholas is just worried about you. What if that tutor teaches you the wrong things? You'll be the one who'll end up paying the price." She was holding Nicholas' water bottle as she spoke. I simply glanced at her before turning away. "Then you two don't need to worry about me." Hailey's eyes instantly reddened. "That's not what I meant." Nicholas quickly assured her gently, "No one's blaming you." When he turned back to me, his tone was frigid again. "Marissa Zinch, since when did you become so unreasonable?" I suddenly found it all so laughable. In the past, when I kept quiet, he would complain that I was boring. When I asked him questions, he would complain that I was annoying. Now that I had stopped bothering him with questions, he was saying that I was being unreasonable. As it turned out, anything I did was wrong as long as I wasn't going along with his wishes. During the self-revision class, our homeroom teacher had everyone write down their target score for the final mock exam. More than a few classmates said Nicholas was likely going to rank first in the entire school again. Hailey leaned against Nicholas' desk, saying with a smile, "Nicholas, you'll definitely be able to rank first!" However, Nicholas looked toward me instead. "Marissa, what did you write?" Previously, I would push my paper over to him and ask him to help evaluate me, the action having become subconscious over the years. Yet, today, I finished writing my score and directly handed it to the class leader without showing it to Nicholas. Nicholas' expression darkened before he let out a cold laugh. His eyes were filled with disdain as he crossed his arms and said, "Hah! Well, without me to tell you what to prioritize, I'd like to see whether that cheap tutor of yours will be able to ensure you get your normal score !" That night, I relayed Nicholas' words to Shane. There was no response from Shane for several seconds. Then, he asked, "Are you upset?" I thought it over. "Not as upset as I used to be." That was the truth. In the past, even one harsh word out of Nicholas' lips would have me tossing and turning the entire night. Now, however, there was only a dull ache in my chest. Shane sent a set of test questions over. "Don't bother with other people. Just focus on doing your best." "And if I mess up at the exams?" "Then we'll review what went wrong and learn from your mistakes." I tightened my grip on my pencil, a laugh bursting from my lips. … The next day, I arrived at the exam venue, only to see Nicholas standing at the end of the corridor. Hailey was next to him, head bowed as she helped him ready his exam admission ticket and stationery. Upon spotting me, Nicholas suddenly said, "Marissa, even if you're throwing a temper tantrum, you should know your limits. It's still not too late to swallow your pride now. Once the exams are over, I'll spare some time out of my weekends to help you catch up on where you've fallen behind. "Don't bother trying to threaten me by using the college entrance exam. You'll gain nothing out of it except destroying your own future. It certainly won't affect me." I was silent for two seconds before I asked him, "Nicholas, even now, you still think that I can't do well without you, huh? He didn't answer, though his silence spoke volumes. Spinning on my heel, I entered the classroom. My phone vibrated in my pocket as Shane sent me a message. "Don't be scared. You're taking your future into your own hands." I sat down in my designated seat, and for the first time ever, I didn't look back at Nicholas. Chapter 3 When the bell for the last exam rang, I felt like I had secured every point I could. As I stepped out of the classroom, I saw that Nicholas was once again standing at the end of the corridor. He glanced over at me, as though waiting for me to go over. Previously, every time we finished our exams, I would immediately go to him and check my answers against his. This time, though, I simply walked right past him. My phone buzzed with a text from Shane. "Don't check your answers with others. Eat, sleep, and wait for the results to come out." I replied, "Okay." Behind me, Nicholas' gaze remained fixed on my phone for a very long time. The results for our exams were released the next afternoon. Our homeroom teacher entered with our score sheets. Raking her eyes across the class, she announced, "The first place in this physics exam is… Marissa Zinch." The entire classroom instantly fell silent, while I stared at her in shock. "282 marks out of 300. 40 marks higher than your previous score." That threw everyone into an uproar. "She scored higher than Nicholas?" I instinctively looked at Nicholas, who was sitting in the front row. His hand hovered in mid-air as he froze, his face slowly darkening. Sweat dampened my palms, even as a belated wave of exhilaration thrilled through me. As it turned out, I really could do it. Before I could bask in the joy, Hailey suddenly commented, "Marissa, you're so amazing! But didn't you only score a little over 240 previously?" She hadn't spoken in a loud voice, but it was just enough that those sitting closest to her could hear. Several of our classmates began whispering to each other, "She improved by 40 marks? Is that for real?" "The papers this time were quite hard, weren't they?" I ignored it all, my attention focused on my results sheet. That afternoon, a new post suddenly popped up in the school's forum from an anonymous user. A photo of the final review guide on my desk had been uploaded, along with the caption, "No wonder she got 282 marks. The review guide's predictions were spot-on." It wasn't long before our classmates were commenting on the post. "This means she already knew the questions before sitting for the exams, doesn't it?" "Could it be that her online tutor sold her the answers?" My heart sank as I stared at my phone screen. Hailey was quick to comment, "Everyone, stop saying such nonsense. I don't think Marissa is that sort of person." A short while later, Nicholas messaged me. "You'd better tell me the truth before this matter gets blown out of proportion. Just how many subjects' answers did that tutor sell to you?" My fingers trembled slightly as I typed out my response. "You think that I cheated too?" His reply was immediate and matter-of-fact. "Marissa Zinch, you should be more than aware of just what level you're at academically. How could you expect me to believe that there isn't something fishy going on here?" A wave of helplessness washed over me at those words, while the shaking in my fingers worsened. I had been staying up late every night for the past month to work on mock questions, a fact that Nicholas clearly knew, yet he was the first to doubt me. That afternoon, during self-study class, Nicholas came over and set his phone down in front of me. "Marissa, stop being so stubborn. Just admit that that tutor of yours tricked you into buying the exam questions off of him. I'll go to our homeroom teacher in a bit and push all the blame onto that tutor." I raised my head to look at Nicholas. "There's nothing to explain, as I didn't cheat." Immediately, Nicholas' face darkened. "Looks like you won't give up unless things get real serious, huh? Without me to vouch for you, do you seriously think the school will believe that you scored 282 all by yourself?" I stared at him, suddenly seeing him as a complete stranger. Beside him was Hailey, whose eyes reddened once again. "Marissa, don't misunderstand Nicholas. He's just worried about you. After all, the results for the final mock exam are really important. If there really is a problem—" I harshly cut her off. "Shut up!" The entire classroom instantly fell silent. Subsequently, I spread my error log and scratch paper across my desk. "None of you bothered to ask me how I improved my grades. Instead, you only kept asking me whether I bought the answers." Turning to look at Nicholas, I continued, "At the end of the day, it isn't that you all think that I cheated. It's that you, Nicholas Lund, can't accept that I was able to score higher than you even without your help." Nicholas' expression changed, but before he could say anything, our homeroom teacher, Ms. Dwight, appeared at the classroom door. In a low, serious voice, she said, "Marissa Zinch, please come with me. Someone reported you for knowing the test questions before the exam. The principal wishes to see you in his office so that you may clarify this issue." Nicholas instantly stepped forward. "Ms. Dwight, I would like to go too." When I looked back at him, he murmured to me, "I know your past level." Those words seemed to stab into my heart like needles. At that moment, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Shane had messaged me. "Don't be scared. You really did put in the effort and worked hard." Chapter 4 When we arrived at the principal's office, Mr. Marron had already printed out my final review guide and spread it on his desk. Every single line had been circled with red pen. Mr. Marron looked at me and said sternly, "Ms. Zinch, someone reported you for knowing the questions for the final mock exam ahead of time. "Be honest with me now. Just who exactly is that tutor you found online? Did he help you steal the exam papers or answer sheet?" Curling my fingers into fists, I answered, "No. All those are standard question types that I painstakingly learned how to solve, one by one." One of the physics teachers frowned. "Even our entire team of physics teachers failed to predict it this accurately. Nicholas Lund, who has always ranked first in the entire school, still only scored 279 this time. Yet, somehow, a cheap online tutor was able to raise your score all the way to 282?" Nicholas stood off to one side, having remained silent thus far. Mr. Marron turned to him. "Mr. Lund, you've been learning alongside Ms. Zinch since you were young, right? So you should know how she used to fare academically. Do you think that her improvement this time is normal?" I raised my head to glance at Nicholas. For a brief second, I even held out a glimmer of hope that he would speak up for me. After all, he knew better than anyone how I hadn't been slacking off recently. Besides that, he should also know that I had always been ready to put in the effort when it came to my studies. However, he was quiet for several seconds before he replied, "Her foundation isn't too bad, but there was no way she would've been able to fully solve the last two questions on the Physics paper." My heart slowly sank to my feet, even as he added, "I'm not saying that she cheated. However, I do feel like there might be something off about her tutor." Those words snuffed out the last bit of hope in me. I had thought that he would choose to believe in me just this once, but he hadn't. He would rather believe something was wrong with a 20-dollar tutor than believe I could rank first on my own merits. I asked softly, "So, in your eyes, there are only two ways I can possibly rank first in the entire school. Either it's because you did a great job teaching me, or I cheated." Upon hearing that, Nicholas stiffened. Hailey, who had come along with us and was now standing by the door, spoke up. "Marissa, don't think of it that way. Everyone is just worried about you. What if that tutor really is some shady character? You would be risking your college entrance exam and your future here!" Half an hour later, my parents arrived at the school. The first thing Mom said upon entering the principal's office was, "Marissa, how could you just find some random person on the internet to be your tutor? The college entrance exam is such an important event in your life! What if he has some ulterior motive to trick you?" Dad's expression was stony as he slammed a hand down on the table, his eyes blazing with fury while he glared at me. "What nonsense is this! Marissa Zinch, how dare you get involved with someone from the internet you don't even know! Give me your phone, now! I'm deleting his contact immediately!" A loud buzzing sounded in my mind. All those nights I stayed up late studying, leaving me with bloodshot eyes, rough calluses on my right hand, and empty boxes of pencils—apparently, all that was inconsequential compared to Nicholas' casual comment that I definitely couldn't score that high. Mom's eyes were red as she stopped Dad before turning to grab my hand. "Marissa, now isn't the time to throw a tantrum." Her voice was soft, yet every word seemed to crush me like a boulder. "Be good and delete that person's contact. What sort of decent teacher could someone who only asked for 20 dollars be?" I stared at them all, finding this entire situation utterly ridiculous. Not once had they ever stayed up with me when I burned the midnight oil, struggling to solve a question. Not once had they listened to me when I tried to suppress my sobs while asking them if I truly was stupid. And not once had they ever told me to take it easy when I was barely holding on under the pressure. Yet now, they actually thought they could make this decision for me. Nicholas sighed, as if he'd just made a very important decision in his life. "Marissa, just delete him. From now on, I'll help you with your studies." I laughed. "Oh, so now you're willing to teach me?" His expression changed minutely, but I went on softly, "Weren't you the one who found me this tutor?" Nicholas opened his mouth, but he couldn't seem to find the words. Looking down at my phone, I tapped into my chat window with Shane. "You guys want proof, right? Then I'll show it to you." That caused Dad's expression to darken further. "You're still trying to defend that scammer?" In the next second, a resounding smack rang out as he slapped me right across the cheek. A trace of astonishment flashed in Nicholas' eyes. Still, he didn't step forward to defend me. Half my face had gone numb from the blow. My fingers tightened around my phone until they turned white. At that moment, my phone screen lit up with a message from Shane. "I've arrived at your school's gates."