My Family Drove Me to Suicide

1 Five years ago, when I was an Ivy League scholarship recipient with a bright future, my life utterly collapsed at the age of eighteen. My adoptive sister, Jenny, suddenly developed a bizarre illness: merely touching me – Anna Grey – would trigger terrifying symptoms like festering eyes, bleeding eardrums, and even suffocation. My parents and brother, convinced I carried a unique pathogen causing Jenny’s suffering, sent me to a sterile training camp nestled deep in the mountains. That dark, sunless place became my supposed "atonement." Meanwhile, Jenny, who scored a mere 200 on her SATs, used my acceptance letter, transforming herself into a popular freshman sensation on campus. Family visits, initially once a month, gradually dwindled to once a year, until I was completely forgotten in the depths of the mountains. It wasn't until five years later, when Jenny finally announced her allergy was gone, that they remembered I even existed. The day they came to pick me up, my brother subconsciously frowned, and I, like a startled rabbit, knelt down, my face contorted in terror. Tears streamed down uncontrollably. I choked out a trembling plea: "Master, your puppy is clean now, not dirty. Please, Master, take your puppy." ... My brother recoiled a step, inspecting me with a look of disgust: "Alright, enough of the act." "What, do I need to beg you to come home?" I flinched, not daring to look up. The camp warden immediately sidled over. One hand supported my arm, the other fiercely pinched me behind my back. I trembled with pain but dared not cry out. The warden helped me, dressed in an ill-fitting gown, up from the ground, saying obsequiously to my brother: "Miss Grey is just overwhelmed with joy! Five years without seeing her family, she's a bit over-excited!" "Mr. Grey, please don't be offended!" "Miss Grey, please go home with your family." She leaned close to me, her voice hushed so only I could hear: "Don't forget all those photos and videos are still in my possession. Remember what you can and cannot say!" My blood ran cold. The nauseating smells, the clammy hands... Filthy memories washed over me like a tide. I leaned on the warden's strength to stand, not daring to look at anyone. My father impatiently glanced at me: "Five years, and not an ounce of improvement!" "So uncouth, not a patch on Jenny!" My mother walked over and took my hand. I greedily savored that touch of warmth, my eyes stinging. The next second, my mother froze. She gasped, clutching my withered, stick-like wrist: "I send you five hundred dollars a month for food, how can you be so thin?" "Anna, you're not deliberately starving yourself to gain sympathy, are you?" I opened my mouth, wanting to explain. To tell her that less than fifty dollars a month was spent on me, that the camp food was all rotten. And I only got four hours of sleep a day, the rest of the time spent in training. Training how to be obedient, how to kneel, how to live like a dog. But as I opened my mouth, my father began to rush us: "Alright, alright, let's go." "Jenny's still waiting alone at home." I dragged my stiff legs, following them. At the door, I couldn't resist looking back at the place that had imprisoned me for five years. Then I turned back, gazing greedily at the world outside the car window. People were laughing, birds were flying freely. My eyes welled up. My brother scoffed, glancing at me: "Worthless." I shrank my neck, not daring to look again. The car stopped outside the house I remembered. My mother pushed open the door, her voice laced with laughter: "Jenny, look who's back!" I stood at the doorway, my heart pounding. My sister, the sister I hadn't seen in five years. I pursed my lips, trying hard to force a smile. But just as my lips curved upward, a bucket of water poured over my head. The icy water streamed into my nose and mouth. I choked, coughing violently, soaked to the bone, my hair clinging to my face in wet strands. The stinging smell of disinfectant made me want to vomit. I stood frozen, water dripping from my chin. 2 Jenny hid behind Mom and Dad and my brother, her voice soft and full of grievance: "I was just worried Anna might have germs. What if I get an allergic reaction again?" "Anna wouldn't be mad, would she?" Mom tenderly pulled her into a hug, patting her back soothingly: "Don't worry, sweetie, Anna would never blame you." My brother sighed, his voice full of aching concern: "Jenny, we know how much you've suffered, we all understand." I stood there, drenched, a blank stare on my face. Not daring to move, not even daring to breathe loudly. I just kept mumbling, my lips trembling, "I'm sorry! Don't hit me! I'm sorry! Don't hit me!" My brother froze for a second, then leaned closer to listen. The next moment, he was stunned. Shock and heartache flashed across his face. Jenny bit her lip fiercely, but quickly reverted to a wronged expression. She peeked out from Mom's embrace: "Is Anna mad? Is she upset I didn't come to pick her up earlier?" "Don't be mad at me, okay? I prepared a surprise for you!" She pointed to the living room, where the dining table was laden with an abundant spread. Mom lovingly stroked her head: "Jenny is so thoughtful, Anna. You should thank your sister." Dad disgustedly glanced at me: "Alright, stop putting on a show." "Who in the camp doesn't know you're the second Miss Grey? With your status, who'd dare bully you?" He walked into the room, throwing a last remark: "Get up already, stop making a spectacle of yourself at the door." Mom, holding Jenny, also turned and left. My brother stood there, looked at me, but said nothing. I curled up on the ground, trembling uncontrollably. They would never know what kind of life I lived in that training camp. Live rats were placed on a plate and brought before me. They squeaked and scurried around the plate, their gray-black tails tangled together. At the warden's command, I had to stuff them into my mouth. Various insects crawled in my bowl. I threw up, then had to continue eating. Any disobedience resulted in a brutal beating. Electric prods sizzled against my body, causing excruciating pain that made my organs bleed. I was thrown into a water cell, immersed for three days and three nights. My wounds turned white and festered, making me forget who I was. I used to be an Ivy League scholarship recipient. At sixteen, my paper won first prize nationally. My teacher patted my shoulder and said: "Anna, you're a genius; you'll surely achieve great things someday." And now I had been trained into a good dog that obeyed commands. I slowly got up, wiping my face hard. I shuffled my feet, walking towards a home where there was no longer a place for me. 3 By the time I came to my senses, I was already sitting at the dining table. Plates of food, exquisitely presented, were laid before me. Jenny sat beside me, smiling sweetly. She extended her hand towards me, wiggling her fingers: "Anna, look, I specially made all these dishes for you." "My hands are all hurt, it's so painful." With that, she giggled and leaned into Mom's embrace. Mom tenderly cradled her hand, gently blowing on the almost invisible scratches: "Poor baby, you worked so hard. Mom knows you care about Anna the most." I looked at the table laden with an elaborate seafood boil. I was allergic to every single item. I remembered when I was little, I accidentally ate shrimp once. My throat swelled up, making it hard to breathe, and I nearly didn't make it through resuscitation. After that, the family never bought seafood again. My brother looked at my dazed face and spoke: "What are you staring at? Eat up, the food will get cold." Seeing no reaction from me, my brother frowned again and impatiently shouted: "Anna Grey!" I jumped, instantly reflexively standing up: "Yes, sir!" Then, I frantically grabbed a shrimp and stuffed it into my mouth. The shell wasn't peeled, hard and scratching my throat, but I couldn't care less. I grabbed another piece of calamari, stuffing it in. Then another crab leg, shoving the whole thing into my mouth. The shell cut the corner of my mouth; blood flowed out, mixing with the food as I swallowed. My brother stood frozen. My mother's voice also trembled slightly: "Anna, please don't..." But I couldn't hear. I only knew I had to eat it all, had to be obedient. Couldn't leave anything. Couldn't make them angry. Soon, my throat began to itch, and my skin started to burn. Red rashes broke out all over my body and face. I continued to stuff food into my mouth with one hand, while scratching myself with the other. My fingernails scraped across my skin, leaving trails of blood. My brother's face was grim; he reached out, wanting to stop me. But when I saw his hand, I was so frightened I immediately knelt on the floor. I raised my hand and slapped myself hard: "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" "I'll be good! I'll eat it all! I'll eat every bit!" I didn't know what I was saying, only that I had to apologize, had to admit fault. I crawled towards my brother on my knees, my trembling hands reaching to undo my buttons. Exposing my skeletal chest. I grabbed his hand, trying to press it against my chest: "Master, it's all yours, please don't hit me anymore!" My brother froze, his face ashen. He tried to pull his hand away, but I gripped it tightly: "Anna Grey, are you crazy? What are you doing!" The next second, a resounding slap struck my face. My head snapped to the side, my cheek burning. Jenny's eyes were red-rimmed, large tears streaming down: "Anna Grey, have you put on enough of a show?" "Do you just have to act pitiful? Have to make everyone feel sorry for you?" "I was the one who got hurt, I was almost killed by you! Don't you know that?!" She cried, gasping for breath, pointing her finger at me: "I finally recovered, and you come back and pretend to be crazy to gain sympathy! Are you trying to drive me to my death?" Mom rushed over and hugged her, crying tears of pain: "Don't cry, Jenny, Mom's here, no one can bully you." Dad coldly glanced at me: "You've been acting up since you walked in. Are you not content until you've turned this house upside down?" "I knew we shouldn't have brought you back!" I knelt on the floor, my clothes open, my face covered in blood. Just then, the front door was pushed open. A tall figure stood silhouetted against the light in the doorway, holding a large bouquet of white lilies. His voice was laced with a gentle laugh, as soft as a spring breeze: "Anna, I heard you were back. I wanted to come see..." His smile froze. I looked up, meeting his eyes. In that instant, all color drained from my face. 4 My former fiancé, Arthur Miller, stood gravely at the door. The bouquet dropped to the floor, and he took a few steps forward, reaching out to help me up. "Anna, what happened to you..." Jenny, like a butterfly, flung herself into his arms, intimately looping her arm through Arthur Miller's: "Arthur, you're here!" She looked back at me, her eyes hiding daggers: "Anna, you might not remember, but this is Arthur, you've met him before." I forced a bitter smile. How could I forget a love so deeply ingrained in my bones? She held onto Arthur Miller, a beaming smile on her face: "Auntie said I'm an Ivy League graduate, and I'm the perfect match for Arthur. They're arranging our engagement this year!" "You absolutely have to come, Anna!" Arthur Miller frowned, trying to pull her hand away: "What are you talking about? Engagement? I haven't..." Jenny, seizing the moment, released his hand and feigned helping me up. I kept my head down, not daring to look at him. My brother's contemptuous gaze swept over me, a cold sneer playing on his lips: "No wonder she's acting crazy. It's for this." "How shameless." I kept my head bowed, my fingernails digging into my palms. Jenny whispered softly in my ear: "Anna Grey, do you think your used-up body is worthy of Arthur?" "I've been by his side for these five years. You want to fight me for him? Do you even have the right?" "I have high-definition backups of all your videos, every frame crystal clear." "I advise you to be sensible, and just be your useless self." She patted my arm, her tone light: "Otherwise, I guarantee everyone will get to enjoy your pathetic show!" My tears finally fell. I thought I had finally escaped the hellish life of the past five years. But the devil still clung to me! Jenny let go of me, turning with a triumphant smile: "Arthur, Anna's too tired. Let her go rest in her room for a bit!" I stood there, watching her joyful retreat. I suddenly raised my hand and ripped open my clothes. Buttons popped, fabric parted. On my emaciated chest, a dense scattering of scars. Cigarette burns, knife slashes, and charred marks left by electric prods. Patch after patch, horrifying to behold. I finally couldn't hold back a wail: "Why are you doing this to me?" Everyone was stunned. I stared at Jenny, tears streaming down: "Jenny, do you hate me?" "You must hate me, right? Otherwise, why would you let others torture me like this?" I turned to Mom and Dad: "Am I not your child? Why do you only love Jenny and not me?" Mom's lips trembled. "Brother, what did I do wrong to make you hate me so much?" My brother's face changed; he took a step forward: "Anna, listen to me..." Dad slammed his hand on the table, pointing at me and yelling: "Look at you! What a spectacle!" "Are you blaming us? What have we ever done to you?" Tears still streaked my face, but I smiled. I retreated step by step, backing towards the window. The window was wide open, blowing my hair. Arthur Miller's face was ashen: "Anna! Don't move!" Mom's legs gave out; she fell to her knees, crying and shouting: "Anna, Mom's begging you, come down!" "Mom was wrong! Don't be impulsive, let's talk this through!" Dad stood still, sneering: "Nobody stop her! Let's see how far she'll take this act?" "She won't jump! If she dared, she wouldn't have waited until today!" Before his words finished, I leaped. The wind violently rushed upwards, my ears filled with its roar.