I See My Fiance and His Girl Friend’s True Colors

I was born deaf and mute. When I was eighteen, Jared Trost spent six months learning sign language for me. Later, when he confessed his feelings, his fingers were clumsy but exceedingly earnest as he signed. “I’ve learned it well. From now on, I’ll be your ears and your voice for the rest of my life.” I always believed that even if my world was silent, I would still have Jared to help me communicate with everyone else. That belief lasted until Jared’s best friend, Naomi Mora, came back from overseas. At a party, right in front of all Jared’s friends, she deliberately mocked me to my face. “Jared, she can’t make a sound or hear anything you say. How boring must it be in bed for you two?” She exaggerated every utterance with her lips, as if she wanted to make absolutely sure I could read them. My face went pale, but Jared simply sighed and ruffled Naomi’s hair. “Knock it off.” At the party before our wedding, I stopped outside the lounge and looked through the crack in the door. The ring box had been carelessly tossed onto the drinks table. Naomi was casually flicking cigarette ash into it. She chuckled and said, “Are you seriously marrying the mute? You’re even letting me use her wedding ring box as an ashtray. I guess you don’t love her that much after all.” Jared lounged against the sofa and gave an indifferent snort. “What choice do I have? She’s deaf and mute. Who else is going to want her? I just have to make sure we don’t end up with a kid like her.” Standing outside the door and staring at the ring box, which had been scorched through by the cigarette ash, I took off the hearing aids I had specially ordered to hear Jared say his vows at our wedding. I shut out every sickening word they said. Just like that, I was done with the wedding too. Chapter 1 Naomi Mora leaned against Jared Trost. She was laughing so hard that she could barely sit up. While wiping tears from her eyes, she shook her head in mock sympathy. “Seriously, if she gets pregnant, just get rid of it. Otherwise, you’ll end up sitting there signing to two mutes. Even your worst enemy would feel sorry for you.” Another round of roaring laughter followed. Jared glanced at me. His smile was as warm and gentle as ever as he came over to take my hand and lead me to a seat in the private lounge. However, the words that came out of his mouth were cruel. “Don’t jinx me. Having a kid who can’t talk would be a nightmare.” My face went pale. I pulled my hand out of his grip. He turned to me with a puzzled look and signed smoothly. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I simply asked, “What is everyone laughing about?” He just stroked my hair with a resigned smile. “They’re congratulating us.” It was the same answer he had given me many times before. I clenched my hands and lowered my eyes. Three months ago, when he proposed to me, he had said, “Kaitlyn, I wish you could hear me tell you how much I love you.” I never imagined that the first thing I would hear instead was him calling someone like me a nightmare. Then, someone suggested a game of Truth or Dare. They spun a bottle. It pointed to Jared. He chose dare. His dare was to unclasp the bra of one of the women in the room. I frowned. Jared gave my hand a reassuring pat and reached out to take a penalty shot instead, but Naomi stopped him. “What, now that you have a girlfriend, you can’t even do a harmless little dare? If your girlfriend is too uptight about it, I guess I can do you a favor.” Jared instinctively glanced at me. “Who says I can’t do it? I just sometimes forget that you count as a girl. You should stop acting like one of the guys all the time.” Naomi pretended to be offended. She threw an arm around his neck. “Oh, please. Now, you want to play innocent? Funny, considering you used to practice on me before hooking up with your girl. “You’ve unclasped my bra plenty of times. Don’t start pretending otherwise now.” I jerked my head toward Jared. He avoided my gaze and simply reached behind Naomi’s back. His hand was back at his side a second later. The dare was over. My stomach churned so violently that I thought I might throw up. On the second round, the bottle pointed at me. I chose dare too. As I reached for one of the dare cards, Naomi set it aside with a grin. “Jared, don’t say I never do anything nice for your little mute girlfriend. This one is probably too much for her, so how about I come up with something easier? “Push your wedding back a week and let me use the venue you booked for my birthday party instead. What do you say?” My eyes widened. I looked toward the ring box on the table, which was now filled with cigarette ash. The others exchanged awkward looks. Someone said, “Maybe she should just take the drinking penalty instead.” Naomi gave an unconcerned shrug. “I was already going easy on her. If she can’t even do one little dare, forget it then. Someone clearly doesn’t know how to have fun. Jared, good luck being married to someone this uptight.” Jared gave my fingers a gentle squeeze. “Fine, we’ll push it back. It’s only a week, and it’s your birthday. What’s the big deal?” Only then did he turn to explain himself to me. “You’ve had too much to drink tonight. You’ll barely have time to recover before the wedding tomorrow. “We might as well postpone it a week so you can get some proper rest.” A bitter taste rose in my mouth. “Are you really worried about me being exhausted, or is there another reason?” A flicker of impatience crossed Jared’s face. His hands began moving faster as he signed. “What’s going on with you? I’m just looking out for you. Why are you upset?” “You could unclasp her bra in one second. She’s the one you practiced on before sleeping with me. Now, you’re handing over our wedding venue for her birthday. Is this how you’re looking out for me?” I yanked the ring off my finger and shoved it back into the ring box on the table, right through the hole the cigarette ash had burned into it. All the color drained from his face. “You could hear me?” Chapter 2 I gave him one last look before standing up. Then, I pushed open the door and walked away without looking back. Steadying my trembling hands, I scrolled through my contacts on my phone. [Professor, is there still an opening for the sign language teaching placement in the Northreach outreach program? I’d like to apply.] I had barely sent the message when Jared caught up and stepped in front of me. “You got hearing aids?” He looked at my ear, then shook the cigarette ash out of the ring box and handed it to me. “Naomi always runs her mouth, and I got carried away with her. The wedding is still happening tomorrow, just like we planned.” Naomi followed us out and stopped beside him. “Exactly. Jared and I are just best friends. We grew up together. Even if I stripped naked, he wouldn’t be able to get it up. “As for the ring box, I just needed somewhere to tap my ash, so I grabbed the first thing I saw. If it bothers you that much, you can have one of my rings instead.” She casually pulled two rings from her pocket. Both were set with diamonds, catching the light with an elegant sparkle. “He called them friendship rings. I think they’re super cheesy.” Then, she suddenly leaned close to my ear and whispered, “Yours was just some cheap add-on. Jared said there was no point spending that much on someone who can’t hear or speak anyway.” A sharp ache spread through my chest as I turned to Jared in disbelief. When we had first got together, he had once twisted a little wildflower into a ring for me and said, “One day, I’m going to give you the best of everything.” When he proposed, he had nervously told me, “I picked this because I wanted you to know how much you mean to me.” At that moment, he simply cleared his throat and looked away. “Kaitlyn, it’s not a big deal. Let me put it on you myself, and we’ll call it even, okay?” Naomi grabbed my hand and tried to force the ring onto my finger. Her long, pointed nails dug straight into my skin, hard enough to break through the flesh. I cried out soundlessly in pain and instinctively yanked my hand back. Naomi suddenly stumbled, staggered backward, and slammed into the corner by the stairs. “Jared, my stomach... it hurts.” Blood ran down her calf. Jared immediately scooped Naomi into his arms. “Call an ambulance!” Then, a second later, he seemed to remember. “Forget it. You can’t even speak. What good are you on the phone?” Blood streamed from my hand. It felt as though something inside my chest had split open and was bleeding right along with it. At the hospital, I stood at a distance and watched as the doctor spoke to Jared. “She’s two months pregnant. There are signs she may miscarry. Are you the father?” He nodded. “Yes.” I clenched the pregnancy test in my pocket until my fingers hurt. Tears were streaming down my face. I was going to tell him that night that we were going to have a baby. Also, after months of treatment, I had finally regained some of my hearing. Though at that moment, none of it mattered any longer. When I reached the ward, I found Jared and Naomi laughing and talking together. Naomi leaned against the headboard and waved the test results at him. “Well, Jared. Looks like you really did it this time.” She looked at him with a teasing smile. “So, what are we going to do now?” Jared sighed and ruffled her hair. “Have the baby. We’ll make it legal.” Naomi could not hide the delight on her face. Jared was still smiling when he turned around and saw me. “What was it you told me? Just friends? Congratulations.” I signed the words to him. The smile froze on his face. He stopped me outside the ward. “Kaitlyn, I didn’t sleep with her on purpose. Nothing about our wedding has to change. Naomi and I talked about it. “She’ll have the baby, and you can raise it. I’ll put Naomi on the paperwork and make sure she and the baby are legally protected, but you and I can still go ahead with the wedding we planned. “That way, it works out for everyone.” I clenched my teeth so hard that I tasted blood. “What if I said I want a child of my own?” Jared actually laughed. “Come on. How are you supposed to have a baby? What if the baby inherits your…” His hands stopped before he finished signing, but whatever I still felt for him was already dying. “The wedding is cancelled, Jared. We’re done.” At that exact moment, I received a message. Chapter 3 [There’s one spot left. We leave in seven days. Can you make it?] I was about to reply when Jared suddenly knocked the phone out of my hand. “Kaitlyn, do you have any idea what your life is actually like? You’re disabled. So what if you can hear a little now? You still can’t speak. “Do you really think you could make it without me? I’m the only person who doesn’t disdain your defects. Anyone else would find being with you too much trouble. “Just because I’ve put up with everything doesn’t mean you get to push me as far as you want. Without me, no one’s going to stand up for you when people treat you any less because of your disability.” His face was dark with anger. He did not even bother signing anymore. My hearing was still recovering. I could only hear relentless ringing. I struggled to read his lips. Every word I managed to make out cut into me all over again. For years, I had refused surgery that could restore some of my hearing because I never wanted to hear that kind of cruelty coming straight from someone’s mouth. When I had slipped his engagement ring onto my finger, he had been the last person I expected to hear such words from. “Stand up for me? You were the one who said having a kid like me would be a nightmare. You were the one mocking me with your friends. Jared, do you really love me?” When he loved me, even on a packed subway, he would sign to me about every funny little thing that had happened that day without a care of who was watching. He had only just started learning sign language back then. His movements had been slow and clumsy, but he would deliberately exaggerate every expression on his face, just to make me smile. Back then, I thought I finally understood how love could make itself heard even in a world without sound. However, at that moment, he was using the trust I had given him to hurt me in ways no one else could. Something seemed to occur to Jared. He froze for a moment. He quickly composed himself again and looked at me as though I were a child throwing a tantrum over nothing. “Kaitlyn, can you stop making such a big deal out of this? It was just a couple of stupid jokes. Everyone else says things like that, but it’s unforgivable when I do? “You’ve been unable to speak for years. You can’t be this sensitive every time someone jokes about it. Naomi’s pregnancy was an accident. We were drunk that night. “She’s allergic to latex, so we couldn’t use condoms, and afterward she forgot to take the morning-after pill. That’s all it was. Naomi’s health is fragile, so ending the pregnancy isn’t an option. “When I said I would make it legal with her, I only meant so the baby would have two legal parents. It won’t change anything between us. “As for you, I’ve been making sure you take birth control this whole time. How could you possibly be pregnant? Even if an accident happened, something would probably go wrong with the baby. “Add your disability into the mix, would you really want to keep it?” My hand froze where it rested over my stomach. “You’ve been giving me birth control?” Jared avoided my gaze. “I’ve been mixing it in with your daily supplements.” Ever since we first slept together, he had always prepared my pills for me. Each little pill box was decorated with silly cartoons and labeled with the names of different vitamins and supplements. The pills tasted bitter, but I never questioned them because I thought he was taking care of me. I finally realized that all that supposed care had been nothing but control. “This was the only way I could make marrying you work, Kaitlyn. I did it for us.” He reached out to pull me into his arms, but I stepped away. “Given your situation, I’m as good as you’re ever going to get. Stop being difficult, Kaitlyn. You don’t have other options. Go home and get some rest. I’ll come get you in a week for our wedding.” After Jared left, I picked up my phone from the floor. The screen was cracked, but it was still on. I tapped out the words with steady hands. [Yes, Professor.] Then, I hit send. Who said I could not make it without him? I had the whole world ahead of me. Chapter 4 The next day, I went to a different hospital to terminate the pregnancy. The doctor spent a long time going over my test results. “Ms. Dever, although you were born deaf and mute, your test results show that your condition is not an inherited genetic defect. We can rule out the possibility of your baby inheriting it. “Knowing that, are you still sure you want to end the pregnancy?” My eyes filled with tears. “I can’t keep the baby. Before I knew I was pregnant, I’d been taking a lot of medication.” The doctor sighed. “Ms. Dever, given your medical history, you need to understand that ending this pregnancy may mean you are never able to conceive again.” I nodded silently. I checked the box confirming that I understood the risks and signed the consent form. The procedure seemed to last forever. I lay there and felt the tiny life inside me slowly slip away. After I was moved to the recovery room, I received a video on my phone. Naomi and Jared were in it. “Naomi, this hospital has the best high-risk pregnancy unit in the city. Just stay here and let them take care of you.” “Jared, what kind of procedure room is that?” My chest tightened. For a split second, I saw my back pass through the frame of Naomi’s video. “Let me see. It’s for a D&C. Some poor woman probably trusted the wrong guy and ended up having to terminate the pregnancy.” “Are you going to be a good dad?” “Yeah. I will.” “When the baby’s older, you’ll give me a wedding. We can have our kid as the flower girl or ring bearer, and the three of us can stand up there together like a real family.” Jared was silent for a long time before finally saying, “Okay.” The video ended there. So just moments ago, separated by nothing more than a wall, I had been ending a pregnancy after putting my trust in the wrong man. On the other hand, they were happily talking about becoming parents together. I stared up at the harsh lights overhead and silently cried. Tears ran into my hair at both temples. When I was finally discharged from the recovery room, I was still hunched over from the pain and took slow, careful steps. I had barely made it into the hallway when someone slammed into me. My medical papers scattered across the floor. I could only crouch down slowly to pick them up. “Are you okay?” I tugged the brim of my cap lower. I was trying to hide my swollen eyes even further behind my sunglasses. “Do you need some help?” I shook my head. Jared crouched down anyway. On one of the papers, the last name Dever was partially visible beneath the other pages. Jared murmured to himself, “Dever? That’s the same last name as Kaitlyn.” My heart jumped into my throat. Just as he was about to pick up the report, Naomi called to him from the other end of the hallway. “Jared, they’re about to give me my progesterone shot. I’m scared.” He hesitated for a second, then stood up. When he looked back, I had already turned and walked away. Over the next few days, I rested at home. Jared sent me a few messages now and then, but I never replied. Then, on the night before I was due to leave, he messaged me again. [Tomorrow’s the big day. Nervous?] [Want me to come over tonight and stay with you?] I frowned, but eventually replied, [No.] That seemed to reassure him. He sent me a string of messages with more reminders, but I did not read them. My body had mostly recovered. I had finished packing my luggage. My luggage was light, just like the few ties I had left to this city. At the first hint of dawn, I picked up my luggage and closed the door of my home behind me. Once I was in the car my professor had arranged for me, I took out my SIM card and snapped it clean in half.