Five Years Long-Distance, and He Came for Another Woman

In the five years Herbert Harding and I dated long-distance, he never once came to my city to see me. It wasn't until my twenty-sixth birthday that I worked up the nerve to text him. "Today's my birthday. I miss you so much. Could you come and spend it with me?" I waited a long time and he didn't answer, so I sent another. "Are you busy? Am I bothering you?" Hours went by before his reply finally came. Just a few words: In a meeting. No time. So I ordered a cake by myself and went to the restaurant, only to find Herbert, the one person who had no business being in this city at all. Across from him sat a girl. I recognized her. It was Maxine Finley, the new intern at his company. "Mr. Harding, I was playing on your phone this morning and saw it's Barbara Stephens's birthday today. Are you sure you don't need to be with her?" Herbert smiled, doting on her. "I didn't like the idea of you traveling alone for work. It's just a birthday. Skipping one won't change anything." The girl beamed and said in a coy little voice, "So that means I'm more important than she is?" Herbert didn't say a word. He just gave a small nod. The cake slipped from my hands and dropped to the floor. A staff member stepped over. "Excuse me, ma'am. Is there anything I can help you with?" I shook my head, turned, and walked out of the restaurant. I wasn't celebrating my birthday. And I didn't want him anymore either. …… On my way out, I glanced back one more time and saw Herbert take out a bracelet and fasten it around Maxine's wrist. I'd seen that bracelet before. It was a new release from a certain brand. I'd shown it to Herbert once. He'd barely glanced at it before saying, "If you want it, go buy it yourself. Don't drop hints. I don't have time to guess." I never brought it up again, but I'd let myself hope that on my birthday he might remember, that he might give it to me as a gift. He had bought it, all right. It just ended up on someone else. So it wasn't that he didn't have time. I simply wasn't worth it. Maxine threw herself happily into his arms and kissed his cheek, and Herbert pulled her in against him without missing a beat. I picked up my phone and, testing him, sent Herbert a message. "Where are you?" He glanced at the phone, then set it right back down. No reply. I remembered how, back when things were long-distance, Herbert would often go a full day before answering me. I always told myself he was busy with work, that he didn't have much time to look at his phone. It never occurred to me that he'd seen my messages all along. He just didn't want to answer. Just then a woman's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "Miss, your cake broke a moment ago. This is a little something from us to make up for it. Happy birthday. We hope you like it." I turned. It was the waitress from before, holding a small slice of cake. Happy birthday. Four simple words, and yet I hadn't heard them from Herbert once all day. Seeing me stare in Herbert and Maxine's direction, the waitress spoke up with a trace of envy. "They really are so in love. Miss Finley loves our chestnut basque cheesecake. Every time Mr. Harding's here on a business trip, he brings her in, and more than once he's driven over himself just to buy a slice." "Just now Miss Finley said she was too full to eat any more, and he still boxed up another one for her. He's so thoughtful." I froze. It was a long moment before I could speak. "Every time? Drove over to buy cake?" The waitress nodded. "That's right. Mr. Harding comes by almost every week. I don't know how a girl finds a boyfriend that good." So he was willing to waste his time doing these trivial little things for someone else. I thanked the waitress, turned, and walked out into the cold wind.

Tears slid down my cheeks, then dried in the wind before I could feel them at all. He always said he was busy, so I learned to spend my birthdays alone, my Valentine's Days alone, to ride the bus alone to go find him. Last month, on our dating anniversary, I took a day off ahead of time and traveled to his city to see him. Six months ago, for his birthday, I turned down a work trip the company had scheduled so I could be with him, and lost my bonus over it. Last year, on my birthday, he said work was too busy, so I spent it home alone. My best friend once teased me: "They say a man never remembers the woman who crosses mountains to reach him. You keep giving like this, one-sided, and one day you won't even have anywhere to cry." But I said it with total certainty: "He's not that kind of man." Only now do I know she was right. When I got home, a message came in from Herbert. "Just got out of a meeting. Bought you a cake, already had it dropped at your door." I opened the door and found it was the chestnut Basque cake he'd packed up from that very restaurant. But he'd forgotten. I'm allergic to chestnuts. He simply treated me, as a matter of course, like a recycling bin, handing me whatever Maxine didn't want. I replied: "You don't know I'm allergic to chestnuts?" "I'm busy enough as it is. Where would I find the time to keep track of little things like that?" His reply came fast, the impatience bleeding through. He had no energy to remember my allergies, but he'd remembered which restaurant's cake Maxine liked. Yet I still remembered when we first got together. I was late to one of our dates, and Herbert had ordered ahead. One of the dishes was braised chicken with chestnuts. I didn't know, and soon after I ate it the reaction hit. Herbert panicked instantly, never leaving my side, caring for me for two whole days. Afterward, guilt in his voice, he said: "Barbie, it's all my fault. I'll never let you suffer like that again." But now, he says an allergy is just a little thing. I truly couldn't understand why Herbert treated me this way. The person he used to be wasn't like this. We were deskmates in high school, always bickering and teasing each other. Our classmates all called us a bickering couple. Until, after the SATs were over, Herbert suddenly asked: "Barbara, which city do you want to go to school in?" I snapped back at him: "None of your business. What, you planning to follow me?" But Herbert went quiet, and only after a long while did he say: "And if I said yes? I don't want to just be your classmate. Wherever you go, I'll go. I want to be with you, always. Is that okay?" I froze on the spot, and after a long while I said yes. Later we went to Capital City together. Even though we were on opposite ends of the city, every week he rode all the way over to see me, never once tired of it, just for a single glimpse of my face. He'd started his own company back in college, and by graduation it had begun to take off. He didn't want to leave. And for various reasons, I chose a job in my hometown. It was the first time we'd been apart since we met, and I believed with all my heart that a two-hour distance couldn't defeat what we had. The day we parted, Herbert held me for a long time at the station and said: "Wait for me. I promise I'll give you a future." But it turned out I was wrong. His company grew bigger and bigger, and his time for me grew less and less. Until now, when his heart has turned toward someone else, and the future he'd spoken of never came. "Let's break up." I sent him this message. The next day, my best friend went with me to the mall to cancel the wedding ring we'd ordered. In that first year of long distance, Herbert had once told me: "Barbie, within five years I'll marry you, for sure." This year happens to be the fifth. And he never once brought up marriage again.

I used to tell myself he was busy with work, that it was normal he hadn't gotten around to thinking about these things. If he wouldn't bring it up, then I'd be the one to propose. We'd been together this long. Little things like that shouldn't matter. I'd reserved the ring, planning to propose to him on his birthday this year. And now there was no need for it. As I was going through the process to cancel the reservation, my best friend suddenly asked, "Are you really not getting it? You've had it on hold for so long. How can you just give it up all of a sudden?" Before I could answer, a familiar voice came from behind me. "You break things off yesterday, and today you're in the mood to go shopping. Barbara, aren't you just doing great." "Once you've thrown enough of a tantrum, apologize. I'll pretend I never saw that text yesterday," Herbert said, an edge of impatience in his voice. "Right, Barbara. Mr. Harding is so busy, don't throw your little fits. Besides, if you're going to break up, you should do it cleanly. This brand isn't exactly in your price range, is it? Breaking up with him while still spending his money. Isn't that a little... two-faced?" Maxine said softly, standing beside him. I didn't answer her. I only turned the question back on Herbert. "Weren't you in a meeting? Why are you here?" Herbert frowned, irritated. "I'm on a business trip. Can you keep a little less garbage in your head?" I gave a mocking little laugh. "A business trip, all the way to a department store counter?" At that, Maxine spoke up again. "Barbara, Mr. Harding is just keeping me company while I shop. Don't misunderstand him." "Keeping you company? You just said this wasn't in my price range, but it's even less what an intern who's barely started working could afford, isn't it? Your head's not on your job, all you think about is pleasing the boss. You certainly know how to enjoy yourself." My tone was flat. "Barbara, how can you say that about me?" Maxine's tears spilled over at once, her voice full of hurt. "Are you done making a scene? Does it feel good, tearing other people down? As if you're anything special. You're nothing but a piece of cheap trash I've been keeping!" Herbert's voice carried a fierce anger. I froze. Everything I'd meant to say suddenly caught in my throat. I had never once imagined that this was how he saw me. The words had barely left his mouth when Herbert pointed at the most expensive necklace in front of him, bought it on the spot, and gave it to Maxine. Then he looked at me and said, "It doesn't matter what she is. What matters is that I'm willing to let her spend my money, and you're not worth it." My best friend, standing beside me, finally couldn't take it anymore and shouted at him, "Herbert, have you no shame, saying things like that? When has she ever used the card you gave her? She paid for that ring with money she saved herself!" "You think you're such a big shot now that you've made it? If she was in it for money, why didn't she leave you back when you were starting out with nothing? It's not like there weren't rich guys chasing after Barbara!" Herbert spoke with contempt. "That's because she knew I'd be richer someday. As for that rich boy, he'd never have looked at her twice if she hadn't thrown herself at him. She was already weighing her options and lining up a backup back then. Sharp, isn't she." "Enough. There's no need for any of this." I cut them off. I took my best friend by the arm and turned to leave. I pretended I didn't care, but my tears struck the floor. Herbert was still calling my name behind me, but I never once looked back. Once we got home, my best friend wouldn't stop cursing Herbert. "Tell me, what did you ever see in a man like that? Back when he was starting his company, you were afraid he didn't have money, so every month, after your most basic expenses, you sent him everything you had left. You were even scared of bruising his ego, so you told him it came from his mother. And now look. You never spent a cent, and he still calls you a freeloader."

"And back when you graduated, you had better options in Capital City, but you insisted his mom's health was bad and you were worried he'd be too busy at work to look after her, so you took a job here at home. He's barely come back these past few years. You're the one who's kept it all together!" "Now that he's made something of himself, he never once mentioned ending the long-distance thing. Instead he goes and cheats! Flirting with another woman right in front of you, spending every dollar he earns on someone else!" Listening to my best friend's cursing, I felt the tears slide down before I could stop them. Every word she said was true. But the old me had believed that as long as he truly loved me, it didn't matter if he never spent his money or his time on me. Just being with him was worth it. Now, though, I looked at the notification on my phone. Maxine had posted an update, a photo of herself wearing the very necklace Herbert had bought her, smiling bright as sunshine. It wasn't long before Herbert showed up in the comments. "You deserve the very best of everything." Maxine replied almost instantly: "Mm-hmm! I want to be with you always, Mr. Harding." Only then did I notice that the couple's profile picture he and I had used for five years had been changed at some point, swapped out for a matching set of pink rabbit avatars, his paired with Maxine's. Back when the long-distance had just begun, Herbert had picked out a couple's avatar set and asked me to use it with him. He'd said, "This way it's like we're together." And now, I was the only one still using that broken other half. My tears fell onto the phone, yet the words on the screen stayed painfully clear. Seeing all this, Yolanda sighed. "I'm not blaming you. I just think you deserved better." "Since you've decided to break up, and there's no room to move up in that job of yours anyway, why not come work at our company? The pay's a lot better than what you're getting now." "I'll come. Thank you, Yolanda." I nodded hard, wiping at the tears about to fall. Since the relationship was already broken, it was time for me to go. The next day, after I finished packing, I made a trip to Herbert's house. His mother was in poor health, and over the years I'd gone every few days to look after her, all so Herbert could work with peace of mind. Now it was time to say goodbye to her too. The moment I pushed the door open, I saw the last two people I expected: Herbert and Maxine. He was supposed to have gone back to Capital City, yet for some reason he was here. When he saw me come in, Herbert shot me an impatient glance and spoke with a sneer. "Didn't you say we were breaking up? What's this little act now? Trying to win me back under the excuse of sucking up to my mom?" Maxine chimed in from the side, all softness. "Barbara, if you can't let go of Mr. Harding, you can just say so. There's no need to be so coy about it." Herbert's mother sat nearby, displeasure clear in her voice. "Herbert, that's enough out of you. And you, you have no right to speak here."

I paid Herbert and Maxine no mind, turning to explain to Davina Harding. "Mrs. Harding, I came this time to say goodbye. I've changed jobs, so from now on—" Before I could finish, Herbert cut me off. "Changed jobs? I never saw you as the ambitious type. You're putting on quite a show." Davina sighed. "Never mind. I've heard about what happened between you and Herbert. He's the one who wronged you." "Mom! What's that supposed to mean!" Herbert's voice was thick with anger. "What do I mean? In these five years, how many times have you come back to see me? If Barbara hadn't looked after me all this time, you might never have seen your mother again!" Davina shouted back, giving no ground. "And as if that weren't bad enough, you've gotten tangled up with an intern. How can you look anyone in the eye?" Herbert let out a cold laugh, then said, "You think she actually wanted to do all that? All it took was a few little favors to buy you over. She just knows she'll never find anyone better once she leaves me!" Maxine spoke up too. "Mrs. Harding, there's a lot you don't know. Mr. Harding is genuinely very busy, but Barbara throws tantrums over the smallest things all day just to get attention. Even we, as his employees, couldn't stand to watch it." Davina snapped, furious. "How do you have the nerve to say any of this?" Herbert went on, mocking. "What did I say that's wrong? Even she said herself she has no real skills and just wants to take care of the home. I've long been sick of that housewife act of hers!" I froze. I'd said that once at a dinner with Herbert's friends. At the time I'd wanted to give him face in front of them. I never imagined he would twist it like this. "I'm grinding it out in Capital City while she takes some cushy job back home and does nothing. Isn't that just her wanting to live off me?" "Why do I like Maxine? She may only be an intern, but she's driven, she works hard, she's there to help me handle things when the company needs it. She's the one who truly deserves to stand at my side." "And Barbara? What can she do? Besides curling up at home and enjoying everything of mine with a clear conscience, what else does she know how to do? And she uses a breakup to force me to give in, as if I actually care?" "What have I done to wrong her? Being willing to give her the title of girlfriend was already more than enough. Am I supposed to be grateful and beg her not to leave? Do I need her?" He spoke fast and hard, as if all of it had been pressing on him for a long time. Davina cried out, frantic. "You bastard!" I drew a deep breath and said, "Mrs. Harding, there's no need to say more. We've already broken up. There's no point arguing over who was right or wrong." Herbert seemed thrown that my reaction was so calm. He went on, "Fine. You'd better never come back looking for me as long as you live." I won't. Barring the unexpected, our paths will never cross again in this life.