Done With My Poisonous Family

The year I turned fourteen, I got a little sister. From then on, I never had a single normal birthday. When I turned fifteen, she stomped my cake to mush, and my parents praised her for being lively and bold. When I turned sixteen, she claimed every present my friends gave me as her own, and if I so much as touched one, she hit me. My parents praised her for knowing her own mind. When I turned seventeen, while the whole family was singing "Happy Birthday," she stole the candles and set my room on fire. My parents praised her for being smart. On the morning I turned eighteen, I opened my eyes to find the body of the little stray puppy I always fed lying in the middle of my bed. Terror and grief crashed over me all at once, and my scream was the first sound of the morning. But my parents scolded me for overreacting and praised my sister for being so capable. I couldn't take it anymore. I stormed out the door and wandered around aimlessly until evening, then went home. At the front door, I heard my uncle ask Mom, "Playing favorites like this, aren't you afraid Eli won't feel close to you anymore?" Mom sighed. "We had Pearl so late. We're both getting old, and we won't be earning much longer. Oh... "We have to use these next few years to let Pearl break Eli in, so she'll be able to keep him under her thumb and make him support her!" So it wasn't just favoritism. It was a deliberate plan to break me into obedience, and a cold, calculated scheme. The last of my hope for my family flickered out. And quietly, I started planning my escape. Chapter 1 I stood outside the door for another fifteen minutes or so, until the cold wind had dried the tears on my face. Then I took a deep breath and pushed the door open as if nothing had happened. "Oh, so you do remember where you live!" Dad was sitting on the couch. He didn't even look up. "Think you're all grown up now? One birthday and you're throwing attitude at us! Your sister was just playing a little joke on you. Was that really worth a scene?" Mom came out of the kitchen with a plate of fruit and set it in front of Pearl. "Here, sweetie, have a strawberry," she cooed. "Don't mind your brother. He doesn't know any better." Pearl grabbed a strawberry, bit into it savagely, and yelled at me with her mouth full. "Bad brother! Stupid dog!" I lowered my eyes and shoved all my hatred and disgust down deep. Then I walked up to them and forced a smile. "Mom, Dad, I'm sorry. I was wrong." They both froze. Clearly, they hadn't expected that. I lifted my head, my eyes shining with "sincere" tears. "I've been thinking about it outside for a long time, and you're right. I'm the big brother. I shouldn't pick fights with my little sister. Pearl's still little. She just wanted to play with me. I blew it way out of proportion. I shouldn't have lost my temper and run off and made you worry." That seemed to please them. Dad's face relaxed, and he grunted. "Well, at least you know you were wrong." Mom actually smiled, looking satisfied. She patted my shoulder, her voice full of a warmth I'd never once been given. "I'm so glad you're finally growing up, Eli. Pearl means everything to this family. You're her big brother, so from now on, you need to help her out and look after her." I nodded hard and blinked the tears back at just the right moment. "I know, Mom. The college entrance exam's coming up soon. I'm going to study really hard, get into a good college, land a good job, and make lots and lots of money so you, Dad, and Pearl can all have a good life!" That hit them exactly where it counted. My parents exchanged a look. They couldn't hide how pleased and smug they were. "Good, good. Now that's more like it!" Dad clapped me on the shoulder hard. "Then you'd better put your back into it!" I struck while the iron was hot and laid out my plan. "Mom, Dad, our school runs late study hall and has a residential program for seniors. I want to apply to live on campus. That way nobody will bother me, and I can put everything into studying. My grades will go up way faster!" They agreed almost without hesitation. As far as they were concerned, me living at school would boost the return on their investment and cut down on fights between me and Pearl. Two birds with one stone. That night, I lay on a cold, hard single bed in the dorm, and for the first time, I breathed air that tasted like freedom. It was temporary. It was fake. But it was like a beam of light cutting through the pitch-black of my future. For most of the next year, I turned into a tireless studying machine. I did practice problems like a maniac and memorized everything, squeezing every last second out of every day. Whenever I got so tired I wanted to quit, I thought of the puppy lying dead in my bed. I thought of Mom saying they needed Pearl to "keep Eli under her thumb." I had to run. As far as I possibly could. The college entrance exam was my only chance. Chapter 2 On the day of the college entrance exam, I got up at the crack of dawn. I double-checked my pencils, calculator, and admission ticket, then tucked everything neatly into a clear plastic folder. Because of the test, my parents showed me more warmth than they ever had. Breakfast was ridiculously big, and they actually spoke to me kindly. Like they really were loving parents who cared about their son's future. I knew better. They didn't care about me. They cared about how much I'd be worth to Pearl one day. I finished breakfast and was about to head out when Pearl came tearing out of her room like a gust of wind and snatched the folder right out of my hands. "Mine! Mine!" she shrieked, clutching it to her chest. My heart sank. I rushed over to get it back. "Pearl, I need that for my test. It's really important. Give it back, now!" My touch seemed to set her off. "No! No!" she screeched, and she ripped it hard with both hands. Rrrip! The sound cracked in my ears like thunder. I watched, helpless, as she tore my admission ticket and my photo ID to pieces. She laughed with glee as she ripped, flinging the scraps into the air like confetti. In that instant, every sound in the world disappeared. My mind went blank. It felt like all the blood in my body had frozen. Through the storm of falling scraps, I saw Pearl's face twisted with excitement. I also saw my parents' expressions freeze. "Pearl Dawson! What do you think you're doing?!" Dad roared. It was the first time I could remember him ever getting that angry at her. Not because she'd destroyed my future. Because she'd destroyed their retirement plan. Pearl wasn't scared by their sudden fury. If anything, she flew into an even wilder rage. "Bad Mommy! Bad Daddy!" She screamed and swung her fists at Mom, then kicked Dad hard in the shin. My parents staggered back under the blows. "Have you lost your mind?" they kept yelling, but neither of them dared to actually hit her back. The whole house descended into chaos. Crying, cursing, and the sound of things smashing all blended together. In the end, Dad was the first to snap out of it. He shoved Mom aside, since she was still wrestling with Pearl, rushed over to me, and grabbed my wrist. "Let's go! We'll get you a replacement! There's still time!" His grip was so tight it hurt. He dragged me along, and I stumbled after him out the door. On the way out, I looked back. Mom was holding Pearl, who was kicking and screaming on the floor. "Don't cry, Pearl, baby," Mom was cooing. "Mommy's sorry. Mommy shouldn't have yelled at you..." And over Mom's shoulder, Pearl flashed me a vicious, smug grin. Chapter 3 Luck was on my side. We got the replacement just in time. Strangely enough, after everything that had happened, the moment I sat down in the testing room, I felt oddly calm. I got through every section without a hitch and performed like I normally would. I could finally breathe again. Then Pearl's face from that morning surfaced in my mind, and a suspicion took hold of me. I needed to know if I was right. The chance came soon enough. My parents announced they were taking Pearl to an amusement park in the next city over for two days. They usually didn't take me on trips like that. The second they were out the door, I rushed into their bedroom. Mom kept the whole family's medical records in one box. I dug through it for a while and finally found her prenatal records from when she was pregnant with Pearl, along with Pearl's later diagnostic reports. Just as I'd thought. Pearl was the way she was because she had a rare congenital personality disorder, along with severe impulse-control problems and antisocial tendencies! All of her violence, all of her cruelty, had an explanation. She wasn't just a kid who didn't know better. She was cruel by nature. And my parents had known they'd brought a potential monster into the world, but they chose to hide the truth from me. They chose to sacrifice my entire life to fill that bottomless pit. They'd even tried to "tame" me so I'd pave the way for that monster's future. In that moment, the thought of running stopped being an idea. It became a desperate survival instinct. While I waited for my scores, I was more obedient than I'd ever been. My parents were thrilled with how "sensible" I'd become after the test, and they eased up on watching me. On the day the scores came out, I saw my number: 1560. I couldn't wait to start researching colleges all over the country. In the end, I set my sights on a top research university in a northern city more than twelve hundred miles from home. I filled out my application carefully and waited, full of hope, for the acceptance letter. But I was still too naive. The next day, Dad suddenly called me over and pointed at the application portal on the screen. "Eli, why are you trying to go somewhere so far away? What about your sister? You promised you'd go to college so you could help her!" There was no way I could tell him the truth. So I fed him a bunch of stuff about great job prospects and making big money. Mom grabbed my hand and pressed it down onto the mouse. "You're changing this application today! You're applying to the local teachers' college right here in town! It's close to home, so we can keep an eye on you! After you graduate, you'll become a teacher. It's a stable job, and you'll be right here to take care of your sister!" The local teachers' college? A school I'd never even given a second look? With a 1560, go to a school where most admitted students barely scraped 1200? This wasn't just killing my future. This was ripping my life out by the roots and grinding it into the mud. "I'm not changing it," I said calmly. Our argument got the attention of Pearl, who'd been in her room playing on her phone. She had an animal instinct for words like "not helping her" and "not taking care of her." Her murky eyes instantly went bloodshot, and she locked onto me. "Not helping me?" The next second, she charged at me like a raging bull. Her fists rained down on my body, my head, my face. She kicked me hard in the stomach and the legs. "You want to run?! I'll kill you! You don't get to not help me!" she howled as she hit me. I curled up on the floor, completely unable to fight back. Pain shot through every part of my body, and my vision started to blur. And my parents just stood there and watched. They watched their daughter do the cruelest things to me. Dad only sighed, turned away, pulled up the portal, and switched every one of my applications to that teachers' college. From that day on, I was locked up inside the house. They took my phone, carried away the computer, and locked my bedroom door from the outside. They cut off every connection I had to the outside world. I lay in bed, covered in bruises and cold all the way through. Was this really how my life was going to be? No. I refused to accept it. Chapter 4 It was late at night, the day before the application deadline. Everything was silent. The whole building was fast asleep. I crept out of bed without a sound and pulled a small tin box out from under my mattress. Inside was every bit of birthday money, Christmas money, and allowance I'd saved from elementary school through high school. A few thousand dollars. It was everything I had. Copying what I'd seen in movies, I knotted my bedsheets, my duvet cover, and even the curtains together into one long rope, tying each knot as tight as I could. I yanked on it hard to make sure it would hold. Then I gritted my teeth and climbed out the window. The night wind howled. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would leap out of my throat. More than once, I felt like I was about to lose my grip. But every time I pictured Pearl's hideous, snarling face and my parents' cold eyes, my strength came back. When my feet finally touched solid ground, I was completely spent. I sank down onto the pavement, gasping for air. I didn't dare stay there. I got up and ran. I ran for a long time, until I was far enough from home, and then I flagged down a cab. "Take me to the nearest twenty-four-hour copy center." At three in the morning, the copy center was nearly empty, its fluorescent lights buzzing over rows of rental computers. I took the one in the farthest corner. My hands were shaking so badly it took me several tries to log in to the application portal. My original choice had been found out, so I couldn't use it anymore. Besides, what I needed now was somewhere that would let me cut them out of my life for good. In the end, I switched my application to a university famous for its dedication to national scientific research. Even after all that, I still didn't feel safe, so I changed my login password. I closed my eyes and banged out a long, random string of numbers, letters, and symbols. Even I had no idea what the password was. That way, nobody could ever log in again. Nobody could ever tamper with my future again. When I walked out of the copy center, the sky was just starting to lighten. I headed straight for the train station and spent the last of my money on a ticket for the cheapest coach seat on the earliest train north. As the train raced along, I watched the scenery rush backward outside the window. The city I'd lived in for eighteen years shrank into a tiny dot until it disappeared completely. I didn't feel the slightest bit of longing. Only a lightness I'd never felt before, like I'd finally broken out of my chains. I leaned my head against the cold window, faced the rising sun, and smiled. It was my first real smile in eighteen years. Early the next morning, my parents carried in breakfast as usual and unlocked my bedroom door with their key. "Eli, time to get up and eat. Today we're taking you to—" The words cut off. The room was empty. There was only the wide-open window and the rope of knotted sheets and duvet cover that ran from the leg of the bed out over the sill, swaying gently in the morning breeze.