With Death, I Depart

The System told me that, as a mission taker, I stood a chance of resurrecting my beloved if I cleared the game. As such, I dedicated my heart and spirit to charm the villainess, even if it meant dying ninety-nine times. When I played the game for the hundredth time, she sent me into a room with a deviant, just to satisfy her crush's whims. "You're not going to die anyway. I don't mind letting you be my boyfriend if you just make Henry laugh." She didn't know that there was a hidden rule—once I played the game a hundred times, my wish of resurrecting my beloved would be granted, success notwithstanding. I shall hence disappear from her world without a trace. Chapter 1 When I opened my eyes again, the agony before I died had yet to subside. Still, I was stunned to see a large puddle of blood that one could drown in. That was when the cool, familiar voice of the System rang in my ears. [Take note, Mission Taker. You have played the game a hundred times, and your wife will soon be resurrected. You will be teleported back to your world after your next death.] I was stunned for a moment, before excitement hit me like a surging tide. My wife, Claire Mills, was coming back to life, and I'd be able to see her again! Back in my world, I had nothing. Even so, Claire stayed with me, sacrificing her youth and giving me the warmth of love. Things just didn't go as we thought, as she was killed in a car accident before we registered our marriage. In my despair, the System appeared to me, telling me that I could resurrect her if I could make the villainess of a dollar store novel fall for me. That was why I held on to the belief that I must resurrect Claire, refusing to give up no matter how I was tormented. As for the villainess, Silvia Graves, she forced the truth out of me the first time I came back to life. Her eyes lit up with excitement after learning that I was immortal, and she started to torment me without qualms and with increasing savagery. For the last death, she lured me to a cafe, calling it a date when she just wanted to please her love interest, Henry Smith. I guilelessly drank the coffee she gave me with a smile and passed out from the high dose of sedative in it. When I woke up again, I found myself in an abandoned warehouse, with several fearsome brutes standing before me. Silvia and Henry stood nearby, watching in amusement as I was tortured in different ways. The pain from the sharp knives in my body alone was enough to knock me out, and I was screaming at the top of my lungs to Silvia for help. However, she was pointing at me and laughing. "Look! That loser is counting on me to save him! You're not going to die anyway—giving a life for our enjoyment should be your honor!" Hence, I was killed—butchered like mere livestock. Thankfully, this would all be over soon. I just had to die one last time, and I'd see my dearest Claire again. However, I had just opened my eyes when Silvia impatiently kicked me. "You're back? Then hurry. Henry's sick—he needs the hospital. You have to serve him as usual." As always, she said it like it was a given—like I owed her everything. I sighed as I pushed myself up. She refused to let me get into the car, so I could only run after her. My poor body had yet to heal, however, so I collapsed on the ground after just a few feet. But she didn't slow down, even snapping at me impatiently, "Ugh… What a loser! Hurry up! Henry is almost passing out!" I only reached the hospital long after they did. As I found them, Silvia glared at me viciously even before I caught my breath. "Too slow! Did you know how much time we've wasted waiting for you?!" Henry cleared his throat just then with impeccable timing, his pale cheeks a little flushed. "It's alright… It's just my poor health. Sorry for worrying everyone and for causing you trouble, Carl…" His mature, selfless words only made Silvia give him a pained look. "Stop. You don't have to defend a heartless monster like him." However, I could clearly see the taunting smile on Henry's face—he was never as guileless as he looked. Chapter 2 Silvia, who was busy taking care of Henry, shot me a look. "What are you spacing out for? Can't you see that Henry is sick? Get him a drink!" Just like I had done ninety-nine times before, I quietly poured Henry a glass of water… and he suddenly yelped. He dropped the glass, leaving it smashing into pieces while splashing hot water all over, scalding my hand crimson. "I'm so sorry, Carl!" he cried. "The glass was too hot and slipped from my grasp. It's all my fault…" The glass even cut my ankles and drew blood, but Silvia deliberately ignored that. She picked up the other glass and splashed it at my face. "You're so clumsy! Is there anything you can do right?! The way I see it, you were just trying to hurt Henry! Don't think I can't tell!" I simply stayed silent and watched her—I had tested the temperature beforehand. It wasn't nearly that hot. Still, Henry was deliberately harassing me because he knew Silvia would never take my side, which also emboldened him further. Even so, my hand had started to heal, but the scalding left blisters. I could resurrect, but that didn't stop the pain, which left me with sweat drenching my back. I gritted my teeth as I bore with the pain and bowed my head in apology. "I'm sorry. I'll get you another glass…" I know Silvia would never believe whatever I said and dismiss it as nonsense. As for me, Claire would soon come back to me. And with one last death, everything would be over. Henry was grinning at me smugly but still lied through his teeth. "Carl just came back alive, so it's alright if he's not thinking straight. Don't get upset with him." Silvia snorted reluctantly then. "You're the only one who's kind enough to tolerate him. Sorry you have to deal with this." They then began to flirt, while I tactfully left to get a broom to clean up the mess. Seeing that I intended to use tools, Silvia snapped right then, "Use your hands!" I had no choice but to do so, letting the glass cut my palm while the room overflowed with the scent of blood. Silvia was sitting in her bed, glaring at me coldly. Still, when she smelled blood, she got up. "That's enough! You don't even know how to clean?! What a fool!" I hung my head and didn't argue. After all, I was a fool—why else would I constantly tolerate her abuse? Henry twitched uncomfortably but forced a smile. "Also, when will my proposal be finalized?" Silvia froze and turned to me. "Henry's company is taking part in an expo abroad, and we need the proposal tomorrow—you must finish it tonight, do you hear me?" I didn't say a word as I groaned inwardly. After resurrecting fifty times, I developed heart issues. I couldn't work long hours, and staying up overnight was especially a no-no. But Silvia didn't care—so what if I was sacrificed as long as it pleased Henry? "Don't worry, it will be done before tomorrow morning." Silvia was ready to argue and was clearly surprised that I agreed to it. Still, she said, "Don't be late. I trust you—that's why I let you do it." I knew she was making excuses for her own actions, but it was really fine by me. If anything, I looked forward to getting a heart attack and dying, so that I could be free from her and see Claire again. Silvia actually looked troubled at once. "I'm just…" However, that was when Henry groaned, "Silvia… It hurts so much…" And with that, I was neglected again, having to close the door for them so people wouldn't catch them getting frisky. As I dragged my battered body to find a doctor, I thought it was simply incredible the way I obsessively devoted myself to Silvia. Chapter 3 Late into the night, my heart was racing so hard that I felt like it would spring out of my throat. However, I didn't want to stop and worked even faster. If I died now, I could go back! Still, it had been a while since I worked overnight, and every organ in my body was screaming in protest, while I found myself falling asleep on my desk a few times. To prevent it from happening again, I put a fruit knife on the table and stabbed myself if I got sleepy. When I jerked awake again and was ready to stab myself, a woman screamed behind me, "Are you crazy?!" I turned to find Claire running to me and excitedly grabbed her wrist. "Claire! You're back?!" However, it was just an illusion from fatigue, and Silvia's eyes widened in surprise. "What did you call me?!" Oh. My look of disappointment hurt her even more, and she pressed relentlessly, "What did you call me?!" I was annoyed, so I simply blurted, "Nothing… It's just a friend. She's not around anymore." Silvia wasn't stupid, however. I could even tell from the look in her eyes that she was wondering if I was telling the truth, but she ultimately bought it. After all, I had died so many times for her—what was that if not love? "I've never pegged you for a sentimental one," she said with a scoff. "What's so important about the dead anyway?" Oh, but they were important. Because Claire left me the best memories I ever had. Still, before I could ask what she was doing here, Henry was screaming as he lunged toward my computer, "That's some impressive progress, Carl! You're amazing! But this opening angle is not that good—can you change it?" I was stunned as he nonchalantly dismissed all my work, making me start again from scratch. It was already past midnight—I wasn't getting any sleep if I had to submit it before tomorrow morning. How terrible… But I didn't get to refuse, as Silvia quickly agreed to it. "Sure. This is the only thing he's good for—one more life for it is nothing to mourn over." "Yeah." I had heard those words so many times over the years that it had gotten boring now. And while I was willing to play a lovesick fool before, all I wanted now was to die sooner. There was an actual look of surprise on Silvia's face just then, as she clearly didn't expect nonchalance from me. Still, she soon composed herself. "Don't try to play the victim here. I know you're not going to die—get back to work now!" Pausing, she then added, "You can sleep for a few minutes if you have to. You don't have to stab yourself…" I raised a brow. Funny—she wouldn't have hesitated to stab me herself before, but she actually learned to care now? But it was too late, and I didn't yearn for her so-called love. All I wanted was to die by her hands. When I was finally done and wanted to take a break, my vision turned dark. - I was in the hospital when I woke up, and Henry was sitting beside me, his glare venomous as he peeled an apple. "Rise and shine… You're lucky to wake up from that. " There were just the two of us in the room, so he didn't have to hide his resentment toward me as he stabbed the fruit knife into the apple and slammed it on the table. "You've really learned," he growled. "Trying to get Silvia's attention by playing sick? Such a shame that she won't actually feel a thing—you're just a dog to her." Before I could speak, we heard footsteps outside, and Henry promptly picked up the sharp knife again. "Don't blame me, Carl. Blame yourself for getting in my way!" As he plunged the knife into his own chest, Silvia rushed in just then. Chapter 4 I'd never seen Silvia looking that worried—one could be forgiven for thinking the world was ending from her reaction. Naturally, Henry would never hurt himself. The knife barely cut an inch into him, and it only made him bleed without inflicting any lasting damage. The doctor was soon here and quickly bandaged him, while Henry leaned feebly in Silvia's arms. "I just wanted to comfort Carl," he sobbed. "But I barely said anything, and he suddenly tried to kill me. Please don't get upset… I'm sure he didn't mean it. He was just really angry and wasn't thinking straight." Naturally, the crowded ward was loud with outrage against me. "He tried to kill Henry! He's really that crazy!" "Yeah. Thank goodness Silvia never chose him, or who knows if he would kill her too." As they quickly shifted the blame on me, what little guilt Silvia felt over making me stay up faded right away. "Carl Young, you really disappoint me!" she snapped. "I knew I shouldn't have felt anything for you!" As the air around him turned sinister, I knew she intended to murder me. The doctor and medical staff were soon chased out, with only Silvia and her men left in the room. I frowned as a foreboding feeling swelled in me. "What do you want?" Without a word, her men strode up, grabbing me and holding me out of the window from the thirtieth floor. A little slip and I'd fall, reduced to pieces. My stomach churned as I looked at the crowded roads down below, and Silvia could clearly see the pain in my eyes. However, that did not quell her rage and only infuriated her further. "How dare you try to hurt Henry, forgetting your place!" "Stop!" Henry cried. "If Carl dies because of me, the guilt will kill me!" Despite his words, there was no hiding the excitement in his eyes. My brain seemed to freeze for a moment, but I wasn't worried about being thrown off the building. After all, once I was dead, I could leave this place and see Claire again. I couldn't help smiling just thinking about that, even spreading my arms to welcome death. Silvia's brow creased when she saw that. Still, she said, "Don't try to curry my sympathy, Carl. You hurt Henry, and I'm not about to let that slide…. Carl? Say something!" However, I couldn't speak as I was being held upside down, and my head was hurting from the blood rushing up my brain… - I was on the floor when I woke up, and I saw Silvia sweating all over her brow. Didn't she hate me? Why would she be upset if I died? It soon became clear, however, as she snapped, "Did you think I'd let you die so easily? Let me give it to you straight—you don't get to die without my permission!" I closed my eyes wearily. "You know I won't die. So why save me? Why not let me fall?" A troubled look showed in Silvia's eyes, but she soon hid it. "You're really useless! Anyway, Henry's company is conducting an experiment and needs someone to stay in a room with some murderous psychopaths. That means it's your time to shine—don't worry, I'll keep you safe." Again. I sighed. Silvia quickly presumed that I was reluctant and about to snap, but I simply smiled humbly. "I mean, what's the point of discussing it with me if you've already made up your mind? You know that I'll do anything if it makes you happy." Since I came to this world, I had shown her endless tolerance and kindness. At first, I thought I could charm her to complete the mission sooner and go home, only to realize that she was a reptile with no human emotions to speak of. And the more I suffered, the more it pleased her. That was how I eventually learned that self-harm always entertained her. She was silent for a few beats before she suddenly smiled. "This really is the last time, Carl. If you do this, you can be my boyfriend… for a month." I nodded in silence, as I'd already imagined how I was going to die.