Face Blind Prank

1 I have mild prosopagnosia, commonly known as face blindness. My fiancée, Amy, always treated my condition like a running joke. She loved teaming up with her best friend, Becca, and my supposed best friend, Jack, to test me in crowded places. During art exhibits or shopping trips, they would throw on identical masks and challenge me to pick Amy out of a crowd. If I guessed wrong once, I had to pay for dinner. If I guessed wrong twice, Amy would cross her arms and sneer: "We've been together for five years. Do you ever actually look at my face?" Today, during our wedding photo shoot, they decided on a whim to play another round of "Find the Bride." A dozen women dressed in identical white bridal gowns stood in a line with their backs to me. Jack nudged me forward, urging me to use my instincts to pick Amy out. I stood there, my hands frozen at my sides. Jack took my wrist, a smirk dancing on his lips. "Don't press him, guys. Amy isn't even in the lineup." The room erupted into laughter. On the nearby vanity table lay a note Amy had left behind: If you can't even recognize your own fiancée, figure out how to host tonight's rehearsal dinner by yourself. I read the note, pulled out my phone, and called the venue to cancel tonight's rehearsal dinner. A face I could never recognize was a face I no longer wanted to look at. … After canceling the event, I forwarded the confirmation slip to the wedding planner. The coordinator asked over the line, "Mr. Sean, the ballroom and floral arrangements are completely set up. Canceling now incurs a thirty percent cancellation penalty. Are you absolutely sure?" "I am sure. Refund the remaining balance to my account." "Does Miss Amy know about this?" "There is no need to notify her." I hung up, grabbed a cab, and returned to the condo I owned. The moment I unlocked the front door, Becca's voice drifted out from the living room. "Amy, I lost the bet! I can't believe he came back in less than two hours!" Amy laughed softly. "I told you he couldn't handle the venue staff on his own. He can't even recognize a face, let alone organize a rehearsal dinner. In the end, he's always going to come back and crawl to me for help." The three of them were huddled around the coffee table eating hotpot. Amy's jacket lay crumpled on the floor. Jack was wearing my custom red engagement suit. I had ordered that suit half a month ago and had the tailor adjust the fitting three separate times. Becca pushed her phone toward Amy. "A bet's a bet. I'll cover your pre-wedding getaway. Pick whatever hotel you want." Jack stood up and reached for my shoulder. "Sean, you're back! Amy just wanted to teach you a lesson. Don't let a stupid game ruin your rehearsal dinner." I stepped back, dodging his hand. "The dinner is canceled." Amy dropped her chopsticks. "What did you say?" "I just called the wedding coordinator. The ballroom reservation is canceled." "Who gave you permission to cancel it?" "I signed the contract, and I paid the deposit." Amy marched over, reaching into her pocket to snatch my phone. "Sean, there's a limit to throwing tantrums! I told you to go to the venue alone to build your confidence. If you can't even handle a simple setup, how are you going to be a husband?" I put my phone securely inside my bag. "You weren't at the venue. Who was I supposed to rehearse an engagement with? Myself?" "I was just going to be a little late. If you had found the venue on your own, I naturally would have shown up." "The note you left explicitly said to figure it out myself." "That was said in anger! Are you seriously telling me you couldn't tell?" I looked down at the jacket on Jack's shoulders. "Take it off." Jack gripped the lapels. "What?" "That is my engagement suit." "I was just trying it on! Since the dinner is canceled, letting it sit in the closet is a waste anyway." "That suit was tailored to my exact measurements. Doesn't it feel uncomfortable on you?" Amy grabbed Jack's arm to stop him. "Don't take it off. Keep wearing it. He doesn't know what's good for him, so stop coddling him." I swallowed the bitter nausea rising in my throat. "So my clothes are just available for him to wear whenever he wants?" "He's your brother, not a stranger!" "Then what about my fiancée? Can he borrow her whenever he wants, too?" Amy's face darkened instantly. "Watch your mouth! Jack and I are completely innocent. You have a filthy mind, so you see filth in everything." She took a step closer, her voice laced with sharp authority. "Sean, apologize to Jack right now. Do that, and I'll pretend this little stunt with the rehearsal dinner never happened. Tomorrow I'll take you to buy our wedding bands." Amy raised her hand to pinch my face playfully, but I took a sharp step backward. Her hand froze in midair, her tone dropping an octave. "Your face blindness is an illness you've enabled for way too long. If you don't fix it now, what happens when we have kids? Are you going to pick up the wrong child from daycare? We do all of this for your own good!" Becca dropped a piece of cooked beef into Jack's bowl. "Just ignore him. When he gets hungry, he'll come out to eat on his own." Amy pointed toward the kitchen. "Go get a bowl and chopsticks. The financial loss from canceling the dinner comes out of your personal account, and tomorrow you will reschedule with the wedding planner." I didn't answer. I turned around and walked straight into the bedroom. I locked the door behind me, pulled my suitcase from the closet, and placed my property deed and passport inside. Laughter soon erupted from the living room again. Becca asked, "So are we still going on the single's trip?" Amy replied, "Of course we are. He made such a mess today, so letting him stay home and reflect on his behavior is for the best." I dialed the number for a real estate agent. "Hello, I want to list my condo for sale. Urgent sale." The agent asked, "Is anyone currently residing in the property?" "Starting tomorrow, you can bring buyers to view the place at any time." The agent verified the property records. "Mr. Sean, you are listed as the sole owner, but there is an outstanding mortgage. We can transfer the title under escrow, but an urgent sale means dropping the asking price slightly. Can you accept that?" "Yes. Find a buyer within three days if possible." "With such a tight timeline, the price might need to go even lower." "As long as the legal procedures are solid, you can negotiate the price." After sending over my property documents, I logged into my company's internal portal. A managerial position had opened up at our southern branch to lead a new independent project. It was over six hundred miles away, and the application deadline was midnight tonight. I submitted my transfer request and set my start date for three days from now. I turned off my phone, packed my laptop, my legal documents, and a few changes of clothes. The next morning, I wheeled my suitcase out of the bedroom. Amy stepped into the hallway, blocking my path. "Who are you trying to impress with that suitcase? Planning to run back to your family to complain again?" "I'm going to the office." "You bring a suitcase to work?" "It contains project files." My phone buzzed with a text from the real estate agent: A client was coming to inspect the condo in thirty minutes. The agent already had the single-use digital lock code I provided. I needed Amy out of the apartment. "Let's go." Amy smirked. "See? Was it really that hard to be reasonable yesterday?" When we arrived at the luxury jewelry store, I realized Becca and Jack were already waiting inside. Jack walked up with a wide smile. "Sean, don't get the wrong idea. Amy said having extra eyes would help give better recommendations, so I came along." Amy handed my suitcase to a store clerk for safekeeping. "Jack has better taste than you. We're going to wear these wedding bands for a long time, so what's wrong with having him help take a look?" The sales associate laid out several sets of rings on a velvet tray. "You two can try them on for size first." Just as I reached out my hand, Jack pointed to a display case nearby. "Amy, isn't this watch gorgeous?" Jack strapped the luxury watch onto his wrist and looked at me. "Sean, what do you think?" "If you like it, buy it yourself." Amy frowned instantly. "Is that how you talk? So you're giving Jack an attitude over a simple gesture?" Jack immediately unbuckled the strap. "I don't want it anymore. Please don't fight because of me." Becca pressed the watch box down firmly. "Amy bought it for you, so just take it. Sean ruined his own rehearsal dinner, and he still has the nerve to grudge a watch?" Amy pulled out her black card. "Box it up." "What about our wedding bands?" I asked quietly. "With your current attitude, do you really think you deserve to have me buy you a ring?" She completed the transaction and handed the gift bag straight to Jack. "When you learn how to respect people, then we'll buy the rings," she said coldness in her eyes. "Respect who?" I countered softly. Jack glanced outside the glass store front. "Yesterday's game wasn't finished. There are plenty of people here in the mall, so let's test you one more time. If you can pick Amy out of the crowd, I'll give this watch back to you." Amy agreed immediately. "Deal. If he gets it wrong again, he can forget about having a wedding for the rest of his life." Jack had already raised his phone camera. "Sean, I'll record it for you this time." I didn't move an inch. Jack pointed the lens directly at my face. "Don't be nervous. Amy is right here in the mall. You've been together for five years, so you can definitely recognize her." "I'm not playing." Amy unbuttoned her coat and handed it to Becca. "He's just afraid of losing. We are playing today whether he likes it or not, otherwise he'll never fix this defect of his." A few shop assistants from a women's boutique downstairs were all wearing identical black trench coats. Amy put on a face mask, slipped off her signature bracelet, and let Becca lead her into the group. Before walking off, she looked back at me. "We'll be right outside three storefronts down. If you've ever actually looked at me, there's no way you'll get it wrong." Jack started recording. "Sean, go ahead." "I told you, I'm not playing." He stepped in front of me, blocking the exit. "You can't run away every time you face a problem. We're doing all of this just to help you become a bit more normal." "I have mild prosopagnosia. I am not abnormal." "I didn't mean it like that. But if you can't even recognize your own fiancée, Amy gets hurt too." "She gets hurt, so she wants you to record video footage of me failing to mock me later?" Jack lowered his phone slightly. "I just wanted a memory. Once you're cured in the future, looking back at these videos will just feel funny." "Delete all the old videos." "They're already posted in the group chat, how am I supposed to delete them?" "You never had my consent to post them." "We're all friends here, it was just a joke! Why do you always take everything so seriously?" A sharp pain twisted in my stomach, and cold sweat broke out across my forehead. The sales associate poured a cup of warm water and handed it to me. "Sir, why don't you take a seat first?" Jack raised his phone right back up. "Sean, stop acting like you're sick. Amy is still waiting for you. It's only three stores over, just walk past and take one look." The sales associate stepped firmly between Jack's camera lens and my face. "Sir, this gentleman explicitly stated he does not want to participate. Why are you still filming him?" "We're his friends! He has face blindness, and we are helping him!" "Knowing he has face blindness and forcing him to identify people in public—you call that helping?" The smile vanished from Jack's face. "This is our private business, it has nothing to do with you." Jack clutched the jewelry bag tighter. "You don't understand the situation at all! Sean agreed to the test himself, we didn't force him!" I looked at him coldly. "When did I ever agree?" Amy and Becca walked back into the store. Amy demanded the moment she stepped inside, "Why didn't you come look for me?" "Because I didn't want to." "I stood there for fifteen minutes, and you didn't move a single step?" Becca pointed an accusing finger at the sales associate. "Were you the one driving a wedge between them just now? This is between Amy and her fiancé, who are you to stick your nose in?" The associate stood her ground. "He was clearly physically unwell, yet you were still pressuring him to play games. If something happens to him, are you going to take responsibility?" Amy swept a cold glance over me. "He's an expert at playing the pity card. Whenever he gets the answer wrong, he puts on this exact miserable face." "I am not acting." "Then prove it to me. Go out there and try right now." "I won't go." She turned her head and commanded me coldly, "Apologize to Jack, then go find me. If you can't recognize me today, you can walk all the way home by yourself." My phone vibrated in my pocket. A text from the real estate agent popped up: The buyer accepted your asking price and has paid the earnest deposit. I've sent over the official contract for your digital signature. I opened the document and signed my name on the final page. Once the digital contract submitted, the agent called me directly. "Mr. Sean, the buyer is in a hurry and wants to take possession as soon as possible. The remaining mortgage will be cleared through the escrow account, and we can handle the title transfer on your behalf." "Proceed." "How should we handle the furniture?" "Leave everything to the buyer." "There are personal belongings of someone else inside the unit. Are you sure you don't need to inform her?" "The contract specifies a clear deadline for vacating the premises. Handle it according to the legal terms." I hung up, walked over to the counter, and took my suitcase back from the clerk. Amy stepped directly in front of me. "Where do you think you're going now?" "I have business to take care of." "Finish today's test first!" "I won't." "Then forget about buying the rings! And don't bother coming to tonight's single's party either!" I walked right around them and headed straight out of the jewelry store. Amy didn't chase after me. Her voice echoed coldly from behind: "Let him go! He can't even recognize roads properly. In half an hour, he'll be calling me begging for help." I got into a taxi and immediately received a message from my company's HR department: Sean, your transfer request has been approved. The southern branch requires you on-site as soon as possible. What is the earliest you can report? I can report tomorrow. The project is urgent, so the company will reimburse today's flight ticket. I checked the flight schedule—there was a flight departing in two hours. I booked it on the spot. Amy called my phone, but I let it ring. Notifications flooded our four-person group chat. Amy typed: No need to wait for him. Tonight we go to the lounge. Let him reflect outside by himself. When he learns his lesson and apologizes, then he can come back. Becca replied: I've already booked the hotel. Next week we head straight to the resort for an early getaway. Amy: He ruined the rehearsal dinner, so he lost the right to go. Just the three of us. Upon reaching the airport terminal, the wedding coordinator called me one last time. "Mr. Sean, Miss Amy called inquiring about the rehearsal dinner. She refused to accept the cancellation and demanded we reinstate the booking." "I signed the contract. She has no legal right to reinstate it." "She also insisted that you bear the full penalty fee." "Deduct it from my deposit." "The remaining balance will be refunded within seven business days." "Understood." After completing check-in, I handed my luggage over to the airline staff. Group chat notifications were still flashing. I tapped the settings button and left the group chat permanently. Amy's call came through again. This time, I answered. "Sean, where the hell did you run off to?" "Is there something you need?" "Get over to the lounge right now! Jack is willing to forgive you. Apologize to his face, and we can put today behind us." "I am not coming." "Don't throw away my patience! The condo is our home. If you don't show up tonight, don't bother coming back to sleep!" "Okay." Amy paused, caught off guard. "What do you mean 'okay'?" "It means exactly what I said." "Are you hiding somewhere crying again? I'm telling you, that trick doesn't work on me anymore! If you're so tough, don't ever come back!" "Got it." I ended the call, systematically deleted Amy, Becca, and Jack from my contacts, and added all three numbers to my block list. When the boarding call sounded over the speakers, I powered down my phone. Right before the plane lifted off the tarmac, a final message arrived from the real estate agent: Mr. Sean, the buyer will inspect the property tomorrow morning and change the digital locks. Is that acceptable? I typed back two simple words: It is.